Category: A new chapter
Return of the sewing room
| 6 September, 2011 | Posted by SoSuanne under A new chapter |
Comments off
|
Labor day weekend turned out to be a great thing, when we moved into the new apartment the spare/guest bed/computer/sewing/craft room was filled with miscellaneous boxes of craft supplies, computer supplies, dolls and doll stuff. I’ve been chipping away at the clutter, mostly because the boy will be here for a visit in just a few weeks and this is “his” room and it would be great if he can actually sleep in it. I’ve managed to get much of the bits and pieces of crafting and sewing supplies sorted (much of it is even organized), dolls have been moved into my room for further sorting, random boxes of stuff have been condensed and there will be room for an air mattress shortly. The perk to having done all that work is, that with the long weekend providing the time, I had an opportunity to test out the sewing room.
I’m sure my fellow crafters and seamstresses will appreciate this little feeling of success. I had been wanting to try converting one of my favorite doll patterns to Build a Bear size and I wanted to document it for a tutorial. So, my first time sewing in the new space would mean utilizing both the regular sewing machine and the serger, space for taking photos, and trying to find all the tools I haven’t used in a long time.
The photo shows the sewing table with both leaves opened (I can’t believe I almost gave the table away when we moved – thank you, again, Eric!), my serger is sitting on one side facing the table’s handy scrap catcher, my pressing pad fits on one leaf, the cutting pad on the other, you can see my computer desk in the background with, all the way to the left, my embroidery/sewing machine. Just above the sewing machine I have a tool caddy attached to the wall with all my sewing dodads.
I won’t include much of the sewing details except share that as I finished the test pattern I realized that I had not once had to stop to search for anything I needed. Everything was within arms reach the entire time I working and I never felt pressed for space. Happy Days! people, Happy Days!!
We are diamonds
| 30 June, 2011 | Posted by SoSuanne under A new chapter, The Inspiration Box |
Comments off
|
Diamonds aren’t made between fluffly clouds cotton balls or kittens, they are created under intense heat and pressure far beneath the surface of the earth. Just as common carbon become a precious stone, the situations we think are the most impossible help to shape and mold us as individuals. Sometimes we have to go through intense and difficult things in order to reach deep within ourselves and find “our best”, we can come out of that darkness emotionally richer individuals.
Each situation builds upon our past, changes us, and the potential of our future.
The other side of the Rainbow
| 27 June, 2011 | Posted by SoSuanne under A new chapter |
Comments off
|
We learn from life experiences, I have understood that always, but I also hoped that someday those learning experiences could be exchanged for as many loving ones. Someday, I imagined, the rain would clear and there would be my rainbow.
“Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can’t I?”
That’s the part of the song that always got to me. All my life I imagined what it might be like if I could just get to the other side of that rainbow. What, or rather who, would be there for me?
Would there be someone who really wanted to understand me, not just the parts they could easily see, but the ones that take time to discover? Would there be someone ready to love me – quirks and all? Would there be someone excited to dream up adventures that we could go on together? Would there be someone who could hold me in his arms and make everything else go away? Would there be someone whose presence I could count on like a rock, or, an anchor, to tie me to a calm place when everything felt crazy? Would there be someone who would forgive my mistakes and encourage my successes, who would not for one moment let me forget how special, precious and important I am to them? Would there be someone for me to love with my whole heart and know that all that love was being returned completely? Would there be
someone I could give my fragile faith and trust to and know that it they be protected and nurtured?
Over the weekend, as I listened to following version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I realized that I no longer have to wonder what it would be like, because I know. Finally the answers are all right here in the life I’m living. Yes, the answers are yes!
No more wishing for some day when the rain clears.
This is not Vegas
| 10 May, 2011 | Posted by SoSuanne under A new chapter, my broken heart |
Comments off
|
My last post in the category My broken heart, was meant to be the very last I would post on the subject, it was meant to close a chapter of my life I wish I’d skipped; Hopefully, this one will really be the end of the chapter.
That post started with “It’s amazing how the slightest nuance can create a huge shift of consciousness.” and it talked about how through a very cathartic thought process I allowed myself to let go and feel the anger and other emotions about a situation that I’d been trying very hard to control my feelings about, that I was able to process this difficult thing and that through that experience I’d found a sense of closure. I talked about the thought process and the things I thought, clearly delineating (or so I thought) that these were thoughts and not necessarily facts, and how I felt as if the slate were washed clean.
I want the situation to be over, and I want that to happen in a way where no one is left feeling like a victim.
I have been “blogging” or keeping an online diary since 1997. I don’t advertise my blog. Sure, you can find the link on my Facebook and Yahoo profiles, but I don’t generally invite anyone to read the posts 
except when I meet a potential “boyfriend” (if my analytics are accurate the general public doesn’t really know my blog exists). I feel it’s important for anyone who I may be involved with to know that my diary is out here for anyone to see. I make sure he’s free to see how I’ve talked about past partners, relationships, situations, etc., and that he knows before we begin dating that what happens between us may become very public – this is not Vegas.
There are names attributed to a lot of the oldest posts, there’s information about Aaron and Peter (whose last name has been posted and removed a few times since his death). Posts pertaining to Colon the video game producer, don’t have his name on them, but they talk about his fiancée who passed away shortly before we met. Jay, whose wife was in the hospital recovering from transplant surgery during our relationship, isn’t mentioned by name but his birthday is pinpointed. I call out my own parents and Grandfather for their alcoholism. I have discussed my son’s health issues at length. No one can step into a relationship with me under the assumption that I’m not going to talk about it, that is simply not a promise I would make to anyone.
I try to write about how powerful we are as individuals, how we can influence our future by making small changes, I usually do that by sharing something that has happened and writing about what I’ve learned from the experience. I’ve experienced many traumas in my life: a near drowning at 3, watching my adult sister be beaten by an abusive boyfriend at 5, alcoholic & negligent parents, an abusive sibling, teenage pregnancy, abortion, date rape. People compliment me on my optimism and they have no idea of what I’ve been through.
In the post this is replacing, I was trying to share how a shift in thought can change perception and emotion drastically and instantly, that thoughts have the power to heal without us having to take any action on them. I also wrote about how I was grateful that the cathartic experience came when it did because I was able to accept the starting of a new chapter happily and with an open heart. This new chapter may as well be titled Eric, and he gave me great advice tonight, he said “taking the other post down doesn’t take away the experience, it will still have happened, you will still have lived through it, and will still have written about it, nothing can take that away”.
Maybe that last chapter was a reminder from the Universe of relationship dont’s? Perhaps being wounded made me slow down enough to be caught? Or, it was the nudge I needed to better appreciate Eric’s quiet confidence, and a reminder to pay attention to fact that the value of my happiness might be genuinely important to someone else, all I know is that he was the first person I wanted to talk to this afternoon when I needed clarity.
This is the song and quote that went with the other post, I thought it was synchronistic that Sarah shared it with me when she did. I might have been more right than I know.
Every word’s a new regret if you say it right, right
Every wound can be forgotten in the right light
Oh nostalgia, I don’t need you anymore
‘Cause the salad days are over and the meat is at my doorThey might try to tell you how you can live your life
But don’t, don’t forget it’s your right
To do whatever you like, you like, you like, you like